
What isn’t in Four Loko these days? It seems each week there’s a story about how there’s yet another chemical in this nasty malt liquor concoction that may or may not make you grow a third arm.
Needless to say, after an investigation in false advertising by the Federal Trade Commission, Phusion Projects (the makers of Four Loko) will create new packaging for the drink. It will include a lid that can reseal and a warning that states that this beverage has the alcohol equivalent of four and a half beers.
Wait. Four and a half beers?
Okay, I’ve been giving advice on how to avoid a DUI conviction for years and it looks like my number one tip has suddenly changed.
The best way to avoid a DUI conviction?
For the love of all that is holy, don’t drink Four Loko.
Save it for cheap college students…
Or for people who actually enjoy jail.






















